30 Days of Night (5)

30 Days of Night (5)
Yesterday was a good day! I got a lot of things accomplished and communicated with two people that i haven't heard from in at least two weeks or more. Anyway, one of those people was my Brother. I'm extremely proud of him and I have been very worried about him. One thing you should know about me... I worry. I'm not a call you every hour to see if you're still okay worrier, I am just extremely concerned about everyone's well being and if I don't hear from or see you in a few days... I worry :(. I know that we aren't supposed to worry and really I know that everything is in God's hands however, I am still human and I love and care for people so deeply that I just want to know what's going on. So technically it's not worrying... It's LOVE baby :)
Moving on. I slept really good last night. This whole writing everyday thing is truly therapy to me. I actually facing a fear believe it or not. I'm terrified of people knowing about what's going on with me. I never give detail. If someone asks if I am doing alright I say "yes" because I don't want them to ask any questions. For example, Wednesday at work I had an asthma attack... everyone was asking if I was okay and I said yes even though my chest was very tight and it felt like it was on FIRE! I just didn't want anyone to make a big fuss over me. I would have called 911 myself if i felt like it was an emergent situation. Since these things happen to me all of the time, i have learned how to control my breathing and loosen my chest and open up my lungs. It's like a routine to me. I didn't tell my family because they would ask QUESTIONS. I never want anyone to feel like they have to check up on me. I am the one who does the checking. I see it this way... If somebody wanted to check on me they would do so... nobody does so i guess I have to keep checking on them right? Silly thoughts but it makes sense to me.
This weekend is going to be AWESOME :) I'm very excited. I could be at home all day and still be excited... just because I don't have to go to that job. UGH! On another note, I HATE MESSY PEOPLE! Like at what age do people actually stop trying to get in everybody's business? Like OMG get some of your own! Females are so strange at times. Especially one's who think that they have it all together and just DO NOT! I swear to promise I can't stand MESS. I have never been a fan of it and I will not start now. Lie seriously after high school it should disappear. Just thought I'd put it out there.
Anyway, until next time SPREAD EXTRA LOVE please don't hate. *\@/*
-MISI