30 Days of Night (3)

I really do not have much to say. I was going to write some long and drawn out story but I do not have the energy to do so. Instead, i am going to post a poem that best explains how I feel at the moment, Please keep in mind that EVERYTHING that I write/post are my original ideas. If you re-post something that i have said, please quote me on it. I am not in a good mood at all. I'm trying to be happy but i have a strong discontent about everything right now. Nothing is satisfying me at the moment. NOTHING at all can satisfy me.
Sometimes I feel as though I am alone I in this world; with no one to talk to or a hand to hold. My heart is heavily burdened and I desire relief, but there is no end in sight seemingly. I sometimes scream to silence what I desire to say out loud, but no one is there to listen. I try hard to hold back my tears but the feeling of rejection is so strong that I become defeated and my tears flow as an endless river. I have become a prisoner of my own desires, trapped within each individual emotion with no where to turn. I admire those who are able to share their feelings without any remorse because I believe it takes courage to do that. I wish that I was an eagle so that I could soar above everything and everyone without any concern… it would be just me and the clouds. Such perpetual peace that would be, just me and the wind. I wonder what it feels like not to have a care in the world… not to ever feel hurt, pain, heartbreak, insecurity, and rejection. I wonder what it feels like to be in love for real. What does it feel like to be in the arms of someone who cares about you? I know what it feels like to be in the arms of someone who doesn’t care. It feels empty and dry and lonely. It feels like being locked in a cold and dark place with no jacket or blanket to keep you warm. It feels like rubbing against a thorny bush and being blistered from head to toe. It feels like jumping into a flaming pool of fire and being incinerated instantly. It’s a bad thing when you are in love with someone and they don’t love you back. It’s a hard place to be in when you know that there is something different. Or is there? Is love real or is it a figment of our imagination? May be love is not meant for me because every time that I give my self, I end up losing. I am so upset at this very moment because I am in love by my self. I just don’t understand how you can love someone so much, yet they don’t love you back.