Extra vs Sharmisa

I am sure that many people are wondering "Just what the hell is wrong with Extra"? Well, I am hoping to shed some light on both Extra and Sharmisa. The truth of the matter is that Extra is the super ego of Sharmisa. I, Sharmisa, am nothing like Extra; in fact I am the total opposite. For years and years of my life I have dealt with people picking on me and threatening me and over time I put up a defense recently named EXTRA by Ray j. Going on the show was a major step for me and I could have never completed the task without having morphed into EXTRA. Sure, may be I should have been myself but I wouldn't have lasted past the first episode if I had even been cast at all. I had to be EXTRA because she is not shy, she doesn't care about what people say about her, she is very aggressive and outgoing and I am none of these things. I am very shy when I first meet people meaning I am somewhat afraid of opening up right away. I do care about what people think of me, I am very humble and submissive and I do have a heart of gold. But too often my kindness has been taken for weakness and I was not willing to allow anyone to see the soft and nurturing side of me in a competition. I did have feelings for Ray J, but I found it most difficult to express them openly without seeming desperate. Honestly, the most desperate thing that someone can do for love is to go on a reality show. Did I need to go on the show to find love? May be. Did i really believe that Ray would like me? No. I believed that Ray would like Extra more because she is fun and spontaneous. I would have never "split" for Ray in a dress unless I was at a football game and I was head cheerleader. However, for entertainment purposes, I had to come out of my shell and be everything that i despise about women. Loud, classless, bossy, conceited, and willing to do almost anything for attention. People are correct in their perception of Extra for the most part. I would however like everyone to know that Extra and Sharmisa are tow different egos within one body. I am Sharmisa everyday, but in a setting where I feel threatened, i will become Extra. Read all about me at ExtraLuv.com